Onward

Well.  It is what it is.  Most days lately, I feel pretty great.  Today (regarding my job), I feel defeated.  Just when I feel like I've got my ducks all in a row, everything's going great, I'm on top of it... something jumps out of the woodwork.  I've chalked it up to growing pains.  Most of these things that happen aren't things that anyone could've forseen - not anyone's fault, really, they just happen because usually it's a situation we haven't dealt with before and we're new at it.  And they have to be dealt with, and we do.  I just, today I just feel like it's always just one too many spinning plates.  I'm tired of it; it's really time to move on.  They're looking into buying some new software specifically for my job, supposedly to make my specific job a whole lot easier... I'm sure by the time that is installed though I will be long gone.  Hopefully it will make the next person's job a lot easier.  But either way, it's time to move on.  Has been for a long time.

Anyway, I heard a song on the radio today.  Normally I like Tori Amos, but the minute I heard the lyrics to this song, "God, sometimes you just don't come through," over and over.  I was kind of taken aback by it.  I don't know much about Tori Amos, other than she's had great success as a musician.  But it seems like a pretty ungrateful stance to take.  People may do as they like, and things are always different once seen from the other side, but for me, myself, I hope that isn't the attitude that I've had about things. 

It's hard for me to decide exactly what I've been feeling vs where I should be.  On the one hand, I may have been incredibly ungrateful for my job... especially at a time when lots of people need jobs.  On the other hand, it could be my gut telling me that it's time to move on, that this is no longer the right thing for me, that it's time to grow in a different direction.  Well, which is it?  Or is it something else altogether?  Am I just burned out?  Dunno.  I hope that once a decision is in stone that I will feel good about it and have that confirmation.

Anyone who has been reading my blog for the past year or so probably knows exactly what I intend to do, ha ha.

Anyway, I do know that I've been incredibly blessed.  Like I said, most days lately, I feel pretty great.  And I'm trying to keep in mind that the Lord works in ways I may not see or understand.  I may grumble about stuff now, but He knows what is best for me, and is always pointing me in that direction... so long as I am smart/humble/in-tune enough to pay attention.  Which reminds me, I need to get better at that.

Well, tomorrow is another day.  Hopefully I will be writing about positives then. :)