Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Must be funny...

My good friend Ashlee posted some thoughts and I want to link to it here because it is pretty much the way I've been feeling for a couple years. So far, my "bucket-list" is made up only of places I want to see and visit, ha ha.

Did I at one point say that learning how to create databases sounded like fun? Here's a secret: IT'S NOT. I swear it is made way more complicated than it needs to be, with all the "relationships" and "cardinalities" and "join-tables" and whatnot. And Microsoft Access is a foreign language. I'll do the work to get through the class, but I'm perfectly happy to leave the database designing to people who enjoy it and are good at it. :)

Monday, March 30, 2009

No title

I won't lie, work kind of sucked today. But nobody's fault but my own. I'm such a damn airhead sometimes. It's what has always scared me the most about being in accounting; making an airhead mistake with costly repercussions. I guess this wasn't as big of a deal as that, but I annoyed at least one person anyway. One of the girls I was working with said, "Well, we made that mistake once and we won't make it again." I guess she's right.

Anyway, Geoff and I both got invitations for Phi Theta Kappa today. I think this one is for GPA's above a certain point. These last two, we have to sign up and pay in person at the school during business hours (which means rushing through a lunch break). It's not a big deal, but it'd be nice if they'd have some kind of online method or something. I wonder what they do for distance ed students.

Better get going on homework.

Oh yeah - Geoff got a couple of internship interviews this week too, one of which we know is a good one. Yay! Keeping our fingers crossed.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Paint, primary fun, and farewell dinner

Layed in bed this morning and stared at the white blank walls and wondered what the room would look like if I painted it blue and left the white trim. So, I went and bought paint and supplies and wall decorations and a new bedspread and pillows and we're going to paint it next weekend. We've never painted before so I'm excited to see what it will look like! I think it will be cute!

This morning we had the quarterly primary activity. We did an indoor campout in the cultural hall, with first aid training, a craft project, a "cave of wonder" (a tent with a tunnel leading up to it - tables covered with blankets) where they learned a song, and relay races. The relay races were my station and Geoff came and helped me. (The kids loved Geoff. He is good with them). We had 16 kids show up so we split them 8 and 8, the older kids and the younger kids. I think the older ones understood the relay races a little better than the younger ones, but at least they were able to get out some energy. It was fun.

Tonight we went to a farewell dinner with Jared and Ashlee, since they're moving in three weeks. Jared's family and some friends and mission buddies and their wives were also there. Ashlee was doing it as a surprise for Jared, and I pretty much almost gave it away. In a dumb facebook questionaire it asked what our plans for the weekend were and I put "a farewell dinner with friends." Yeah, Jared saw it and because he was already suspecting something, he figured it out. But Ashlee lied and was able to convince him I was talking about someone else. Yeah, I'm smooth (a.k.a. moron). But apparently I wasn't the only one there that almost gave it away, ha ha. Anyway, we're both so shy so I was worried it would be so uncomfortable but it really wasn't. It was at the Mayan in Sandy, which is like a multi-level maze of tables, decorated like something from the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland. You feel like you're in a fancy treehouse somewhere in the jungle, and there are cliff divers every half hour or so. The food was okay, but I would go again for the atmosphere; it was fun. Between dive shows, the divers walk around and pretend to be natives, dressed in loinclothes. They pretended to be awed by the balloons. Kind of cheesy. I think it would be fun to be a diver but awkward to walk around in a loincloth.

Friday, March 27, 2009


Tonight after work mom and dad came over and we drove over to the school for the Phi Kappa Phi initiation ceremony. They had a pretty good dessert bar and then there was a pretty good speech, and then we picked up our stuff. I picked up Geoff's since he wasn't there. But mom and dad came and I really appreciated them spending their Friday night on my dumb ceremony thing. They are pretty great. We took a few pictures and I'll post them later when I get them from dad.

One thing the lady said in her speech was to the parents, thanking them for their support. It make me think of my parents, who've always shown such support by coming to my boring choir concerts and softball games and paying for my piano lessons and chauffering me everywhere and just taking an interest in my life. I was thinking a few weeks ago of the time shortly after we'd moved to Spanish Fork. It was the 7th grade and I was coming straight from gradeschool into a world of class periods, where everyone else had grown up together, and my clothes weren't right and my hair wasn't right, and I was so shy and felt so out of place. One morning I just broke down crying at the thought of facing another school day, and mom said heck with it, and excused me from school for the day and took me to the mall to buy a new outfit. My 'rents are the best. I have had so much support from mom and dad, I am a lucky girl. I've also been thinking a lot about all the fun memories in Pleasant Grove. Childhood was so happy and carefree, and that's the way it should be. Thanks mom and dad, love you.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

80's rock

The 80's sure were great, weren't they? Musically anyway. I don't remember much except that the "Hip to Be a Square" song was on Sesame Street. That would be such a fun time to grow up though. I imagine it as an explosion of great music. There's a new playlist, which I've stayed up way past bed-time making. (It was fun.) I'm sure I'll add much more as I think of other songs. The only one I looked for that they didn't have though was Peter Gabriel.

I got an invitation for Beta Gamma Sigma. I guess the difference between this one and the other one is this one is specific to the school of business; the other one was across all majors.

Lunch post

Doing lunch office-style today, so I can study for a test I've got tonight. Not going to start that for a few minutes though.

What makes a random person on the phone want to call me "hun?" It's a little weird. Someone I know got called "sweetie" the other day and it made her upset. Is it an effort to assert yourself as the authority or is it just the way some people talk. Maybe both. (This is only referring to random people. As a term of endearment I think it's sweet).

Tuesday after work was class, then after class we went to a Provo City Council meeting (a requirement for our dumb governmental accounting class). We listened to one guy propose a business plan which included removing a historical house on University Pkwy and building a men's-only student complex. We heard from him, from his developer, from some other dude, etc. We couldn't believe how much butt-kissing there was. Kiss kiss kiss all over the place. And one other thing I thought was funny was that there was soooo much concern about what was going to happen to the trees out front. The builder explained that he was going to put the parking lot entrance in between the two trees. Oh my golly they probably talked for fifteen minutes total about the two trees. Guy had to add a clause to the contract that promised he would leave the two trees in the ground. We wanted to hear about the budget, (because that's what we're studying), but it was last on the agenda, and after an hour we hadn't even gotten passed the first item and it was getting late, so we went home.

I was surprised that the city could have so much power over what happened. If someone wants to erect a building, they have to have approval from city council first? No wonder all the butt-kissing. The builders have to have approval from the city to keep their business in business. I was also surprised that the city council can make provisions such as what the outside of the building has to look like. Interesting...

Geoff got a call from our bishop last night asking how we were doing and how our marriage is doing. I didn't know what to make of it. We fight once in awhile... once in a great while, (I think that's pretty normal), but our marriage is fine, so I wonder what made him think that. He said he's been feeling restless about it and I wonder how long he's been thinking about it. There's been some other stuff going on so maybe that's it. He's doing his job though; it is nice of him to be concerned about us and to make the phone call to see.

Calizzle ma nizzle. Foshizzle!

Okay this was funny so I had to post - I'd love to know your names too! (particularly the izzle, love that one)

Cali Rae Stanley

2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle name)
Ray - no middle for my mom

3.NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
William Winston

4.STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)Staca

5.DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)
Red Cockatiel

6.SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born)
Rae Spanish Fork, he he he that one doesn't really work I don't think?

7.SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
THE blue orange julius

8.FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)

9.STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Chocolate chip chocolate chip... as good as tommy two-times eh?

10.ROCK STAR NAME:(current pets name, current street name)
Wally 1360... sounds like a wannabe rapper!

11.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)

12.YOUR IRAQI.. NAME:(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name, last two letters of your first name then last three letters of your last name)

13.YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black tajma hama lama jaba faba... sounds like some kind of chant

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Pandora don't feel bad

I've heard of Pandora.com before, but never bothered to try it until yesterday. It's awesome. It's a free, commercial-free online radio station. You type in the name of an artist or song that you like, and it finds other artists and songs that are similar-sounding and plays them for you. You can further customize your radio station by giving songs thumbs up or thumbs down, and you can add variety by including an additional artist or song.

I put Collective Soul and Lady Gaga in mine, and it was commercial-free heaven.

Except for when I gave one song a thumbs down and a little message popped up that said, "We are sorry for playing this song. We won't play this song on your radio station ever again." What? And then I got a message that said, "We were unable to save your feedback, it's all our fault."

This radio station is making me feel bad. I feel like a big meanie when I get those messages, like I bawled it out and it's apologizing profusely for its gross errors. For ruining my life!

Yes, I am easily manipulated; I can't help it. I'm sorry okay? It's my fault, I won't ever do it ever, ever again!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Walster is my bud

Wally kept me company the other night. This is him sleeping on me.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

For what's in a day of a dandy life

This morning we went to Pirate O's and got dad a birthday present; a little gift basket with some foreign goodies. We were able to find Vegemite there. Dad served his mission in Australia and I think I remember him saying that he liked Vegemite. I also got a little thing of stroop waffles. If you've never had stroop waffles I highly recommend giving them a try! When Alison went to Europe two summers ago she brought some home to me and I've been hooked ever since. There's only two places around here that sell them though: The Dutch Store and Pirate O's, and they're both in Salt Lake so we have to make a special trip for them once in awhile. Anyway, then we went to the mall and Geoff sat around being bored while I shopped. We took dad's present down to SF. When we got home Geoff decided to go to Wendover again.

I really don't mind at all when he goes out there; I personally don't love going (which is why I don't), and he's not really the party animal type so I don't worry. It's kind of nice once in awhile to have some time alone to do whatever. This time I treated myself to a big nap and then went in search of some purple shoes. (Found them!) Now I've bought stuff to make orange julius and I'm going to snuggle in and watch some movies. I love homework-free Saturdays! :)

Friday, March 20, 2009

Teamwork: the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results....... In bed

Geoff has been looking for an internship for the last few weeks. People keep saying this is a horrible time to graduate, and naturally Geoff's a little worried about finding post-degree employment. As it turns out, internships aren't exactly easy to come by right now either. A couple of days ago, the internship office called him in for a meeting and gave him a big stack of internships in D.C. to apply for. He started going through them and realized that the application period for them expired last week. We were like, Are you kidding me?? HA HA! It's like a circus over there. One hilariously big joke. Ha ha ha!

Well Geoff spent the morning looking for others to apply for and going over cover letters and by lunch was feeling pretty frustrated. We met for lunch at a chinese place and I was hoping to try and cheer him up a little bit. We finished our meal and I opened my fortune cookie: "Wisdom comes with time. Seek advice from those older than you." And Geoff opened his: And there was nothing in his fortune cookie! He he he. Just what he needs after a hard day, to be crapped on by the fortune-cosmos altogether, he he.

Okay so it's not that funny now but at the time I laughed pretty hard.

I guess, if you are inclined to take fortune cookies seriously, you would say that not getting a slip of paper is a good thing because it means your fortune is yours to decide.

So I tend to not talk about politics in my blog very much because well, I don't know anything about them and have not paid close attention to too much. (And if I ever do say anything about politics just don't take me seriously because I admitedly don't know what I'm talking about). But I just saw Obama's interview with Jay Leno and I have to say, besides that "special olympics" boner, he did a great job. I really liked it and I really liked him. He seems to be pretty normal and grounded. And I am glad we don't have to say goodbye to "isms" just yet.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Geoff and Cali

First Date - Hike to Bridal Veil Falls

Afternoon of the first kiss (How could I resist this cutie?)

First trip together - Las Vegas


March 18, 2005

Random picture

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Happy fourth, baby

It is our fourth anniversary today. Hard to believe it's been four years already. I got Geoff a gift this year (gasp), just some shorts and a t-shirt. He took me out for lunch.

Tonight, we are breaking our three-month no-pizza streak with some thin-crust pepperoni. Imagine if you only ate pizza once every three months. That's only four times a year! We'll see if we can do it again (I'm sure we can) but a fourth anniversary is a good time to break it, I think.

It took us an hour to decide that this is what we're going to do tonight.

I'll do a real nice post later sometime this week but tonight I'm going to hang out.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Kingdom phylum class order family genus species

I think, let's let that be the last time I eat ice-cream right before bed.

Woke up at 2:30 with the most fitful dream ever. Dreamed I'd rented like 15 movies from Blockbuster and was a day late in returning them, so we got $75 in late fees. I vowed never ever to return to Blockbuster EVER, because Hollywood Video was way better. (Then the 2:30 wake-up).

Then I went back to sleep and dreamed that we drove out to the Nevada desert-wilderness with some friends to look at a housing community where they were considering buying a home. We were in the park next door playing ball, when the husband of the couple we were with suddenly got attacked by a whomping tree. (Like the whomping willow from Harry Potter). When he got attacked, I was like, "Hey, that's a whomping tree." And Alison, who'd suddenly appeared out of nowhere, said knowingly, "You know your phyla." Then I woke up at 3:30. I was soooo worried about how I was going to reflect these events in our accounting software that it woke me up both times. I'm such a geek.

Finally fell back asleep around five and got up at seven. So, not the greatest night's sleep ever. How weird to think the word Phyla in my sleep. (Don't think I've ever used it before).

Monday, March 16, 2009

Slap-happy that's us

After work today went and took a grueling test. Got a 75% on the multiple choice and there's the written part that has yet to be graded. If I'm lucky I'll get an 80%. Oh well, I'll take it. There are bigger things in life than an exam. Like, for instance, SPRING BREAK, which starts tomorrow after class. Spring break... we're gonna party it up, you know, get down with our bad selves and altogether high on life. Bring on the sparkling juice and citric acid, hyuck hyuck. Nothing like raising your own roof.

We're going to study for tests and hang out at home, I'm pretty sure. Still, can't complain about having a break from school.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

I am queen of shameless bathroom dancing

Geoff is out west again this weekend. After waking up this morning I went to town on the house... and IT IS CLEAN! I even mopped the wayward hair product off the bathroom wall with el handy swiffer - while shakin' my booty to Mmm Papi. All that's left is take a shower, go shopping, study for a test, and make 7-layer dip for when Geoffy gets back. And the weather is beautiful. What an awesome day.

I just randomly came across this web page (okay, I was googling Nizell to see if it was a word that meant anything - apparently it's a first name). According to it, I am the only Cali Stanley in the United States. (Cali Jones there was 5). And in case you wondered, there are two Nizell's. Try your own name and see how many other people there are that share it!

Friday, March 13, 2009

13 is a lucky number

So I've been trying to be good and stay out of the candy machine at work right? Well today I got pretty bad munchies and went to grab some change from my wallet. Oops! The wallet was empty, so I went coin-diving in my purse. And guess what I found - a 1928 standing liberty quarter. Apparently these coins can sell for anywhere from $90,000 to about five bucks, depending on the year and condition. (The most rare and expensive one is $300,000). I'm pretty sure this one is on the very lowest end of the spectrum, but still kind of cool to keep around. (I'll let my dad keep it, he collects. I'll either spend it accidentally or lose it.) Not a bad thing to find at the bottom of your purse on Friday the 13th!

Here are some other reasons why this Friday the 13th rocks:

  • Absolutely gorgeous weather
  • It's Friday
  • We got a UPS package from Geoff's mom for our anniversary (which is on Wednesday) - more bedsheets, the awesome kind! They are high-thread count and luscious, and a beautiful lipstick-champagne color - can't wait to use them!!
  • I have the most wonderful and handsome husband in the world and we get to hang out all night!
  • We got our vacuum back from the repair people. So after two weeks without a vacuum the floors are clean again!
  • It's payday. (Can't complain about that!)

Thursday, March 12, 2009

To Susan

Susan, I started to answer you in the comments but it ended up being a bit long, so I just decided to make another post. I think you have a very fair observation, and I'd like to do my best to explain.

Doctrinally, I really don’t think there is anything you could learn in the temple ceremony that you can’t learn before you ever go. Much of what’s taught in the temple is about our purpose in life and God’s plan for his children. (God’s children = everyone in the human race). You can learn the basics of this in the very first missionary discussion. We go to the temple to make certain binding promises (we use the term “covenants”) with God, and it is the nature of these that is considered so special and ‘sacred.’ Members of the church consciously make an effort to maintain a lifestyle that will help them be spiritually prepared and worthy to make these promises, so you can see it is not something we take lightly. (Or some of us probably do, but shouldn’t.)

The church’s purpose is not to shut people out and keep them in the dark about things, in fact they invite others to partake of the same knowledge. (Which is what my little sister is doing all the way down in Chile). They just want us to have prepared ourselves and given it some serious study and commitment before entering into it. And there’s a LOT of symbolism involved in the ceremony, which is one thing I think people won’t understand. Even after you’ve been through the temple several times, there is always more to learn from the symbolism.

Anyway, I hope that helped a little bit. The ceremony itself is probably about two hours long, and I really just don’t think the HBO series is going to be a good place to learn about it. (But if you ever wanted to know more, let me know and I could hook you up with the real stuff!) :)


So, I was reviewing some notes from human-performance-meeting from the day we talked about gratitude. I thought about the post about "mediocrity" and am a little embarrassed about how ungrateful I was being. I know I've been so blessed, to have been born into a world of opportunity, with a loving, supportive family, and great place to live and a wonderful husband. There are so many people who have sacrificed and gone above and beyond to make my life better. I don't think a person could ask for more, honestly.

I think maybe it was coming from my own personal fear of failure, and not the caliber of the possessions around me. I'm afraid of getting to a point in life and having regrets at letting opportunity pass by. It's not just about being the best, it's about not being good enough. For what, I don't even know. It's totally silly. The only thing to fear is fear itself, right?

Sigh. Oh my gosh. It's so emo. (Would someone tell me where to find an "I Have Issues" t-shirt)

I love my family and friends to pieces, and I know they have all sacrificed much for me and I am not the easiest person to live with sometimes, I know that. They are my angels.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I got Big Love in my heart, baby yeah

Regarding the HBO issue:

Church leaders: "Certainly church members are offended when their most sacred practices are misrepresented or presented without context or understanding," the church statement said.

HBO: "In approaching the dramatization of the endowment ceremony, we knew we had a responsibility to be completely accurate and to show the ceremony in the proper context and with respect."

I've only got a few things to say-

1) It doesn't matter how accurate the depiction is, unless a person has been expressely taught, (and I don't mean by Google) and has made the committment and has spiritually prepared for it, it IS going to be recieved out of context and without understanding.

2) The fact that they got their instruction from an ex-mormon who is going against the wishes of the church by revealing everything means that it is, in all likelihood, already biased.

3) It really isn't about accuracy anyway. It is about some TV executives' utter disrespect. They may not understand or agree with mormons, but they absolutely know that what they are doing is disrespectful.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Yo soy estupido

I am soooo tired today. (We got 8 hours, but it wasn't enough last night I don't know why). I went to Wal-mart to buy my lunch and in my bleary-eyed state I accidentally touched "en espanol" at the self-checkout instead of "in english." The mexican guy in line behind looked at me funny when the speaker barked instructions in spanish, but luckily I know the drill well enough to know which buttons are which. I panicked for one brief moment when it asked for my payment method, but "debitar" wasn't all that hard to figure out, so it was all good.

I did take spanish in high school for two years but hardly remember a thing. If we were ever in a spanish-speaking country and we got lost and Geoff was somehow rendered unconscious and therefore unable to speak (because he speaks spanish), I might be able to tell someone I need to go to the market to buy some grapes, and hopefully they'd point me in the right direction.

I've got 20 minutes left so I'm going to take a nap!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Oh happy day

Last night we laid in bed talking about school - how depressed it makes us both, and Geoff mentioned how he hopes he passes this one class or it will put him back an extra semester or more, and I mentioned how I was going to be in school for another year and Geoff just started laughing histerically. I said it's not funny, and he said he was sorry but it just seems like the closer we get to the end, the farther away it moves, and just kept laughing. So I laughed too and we laid there and laughed and wanted to kill ourselves.

WELL today was a very awesome day. I went to see a different counselor, and she was 100 times better than the other one I went to! She actually found a way to make it work!! I was soooo happy I wanted to sing; what a relief. She found other options that were just sitting there, but that the other lady had been to lazy to look up. And she said if it ever happens that there's just one class holding me up or something, we can usually (not always, but most of the time) find substitutes. (The other lady said no substitutes). So this one was much nicer and much more helpful. I'd been feeling just sick about the whole thing, so this just brought so much relief........... I so wanted to go back and tell the other one she sucks. But that probably isn't a good idea. (I may need to go through her again at some point).

I don't think I could've or would've asked my employer for a scheduling exception (taking day classes and working at night). Although without knowing the day-to-day operations of our company it was a very good suggestion and would probably work in a lot of cases. (Thanks Susan!)

Geoff is in class right now and I've got just a few minutes to finish up and go join him for government, so check these out:

Those are store-bought cinnamon rolls, (the dough that comes in the container that pops), smashed into cookie-esque pastries by the new George Foreman grill. Geoff's idea, and very good.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Speaking of Jack Handy

In the spirit of lightening up a little, these are a few of my favorites, taken from here.

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late.

When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.

A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

Deep thoughts

(Note - I just finished writing this post and it is really really late right now - so there is a possibility that it will not make sense to anyone but me)

Tonight we watched Back to the Future, parts one, two, and half of three. (It was fun but by the third movie the sames jokes started to get old). But it got me thinking, how would it be if, like the characters in the movie, we could see ourselves 20 or 30 years from now? And if we could, would we want to?

For me, I'm not so sure the answer is yes. Because, what if - like the characters in the movie - all I were to see was mediocrity? When we start out we have dreams - well, I assume most of us do - of what our lives will be like, our families, our homes, and whatever else. But what if they never materialize like we planned? If you knew that your entire life was going to be just mediocre at best, would you give up trying? Is it not the hope of making it a little better that keeps us going?

I say this because, I've realized this weekend that I have had some high expectations. I've gotten this idea in my head that our lives are exactly what we make them; maybe with a little help from luck once in awhile. But really, there is no such thing as destiny, but only what we make with our own two hands. And if we are willing and determined, we can do whatever we want with the sky as the limit. This is the idea that fear is the one and only thing that would hold us back from realizing the ends.

Maybe this is unrealistic though. Especially when your dreams and your expectations are projected upon someone else, who may not see things the same way as you do. Having unrealistic expectations can only result in feelings of disappointment, resentment, hopelessness, a loss of self-worth, and a sense of not being accepted for who you are. And it is a very, very bad thing if you cause someone else to feel this way because you've pushed your desires on them. I thought today of the "four horsement of the apocalypse:" criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling, and thought - maybe this should be added to the list.

So what happens when we hit that point in our lives where we think, this is it, this is what it all amounts to. We must either go crazy or find new things that are meaningful to us, I guess. Maybe find a fresh angle at which to look at things. Do a bit of soul-searching, asking yourself what's really most important to you in this life. It is so short.

I've said it before and I'll say it again- whatever else I hope to gain and do, letting my family know how much I love them and how important they are to me is the most important thing to me, ever. I need to do better at it.

And last of all - "Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind." (Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy)

Friday, March 6, 2009

Sad day

On my lunch break today I went down to the academic advisor's office so she could map out my classes for the rest of the way. Only 4 more classes plus the capstone! I was excited to put the ending down on paper, but came away with crumpled hopes. 2 of the classes plus the capstone are only being offered at the exact same time on the exact same days. And the other two classes, which she'd said I could take this summer, are not being offered. They may be offered in the fall, she said, but there's still the question of whether they'll be overlapped. So all of this means that I'll have to push back graduation yet another semester, maybe more. Another year!! I kept groping for options, trying hard to hold back the dang tears, asking if I did this then what that, but she just kept saying "if you have to have night classes," in that "it's your funeral" tone of voice, and she would not actively offer solutions or alternatives. She just sat there and watched me hem and haw and grow upset.

YES, I have to have evening classes. I can't just quit my job because UVU's evening classes (and counselors) are insufficient. What I don't understand is how I've been to visit with Ms. Diane Johnson every single semester for help in mapping out classes, and she didn't see this coming? How in the world could she have missed this??? To have to spend more than one year to finish four measly classes and a capstone is completely ridiculous. Even if I hadn't dropped Advanced Financial this semester, I'd still be in the same predicament.

She kept saying she'd ask Steve Johnson (the dean of the school of business - the "students first" professor) if he plans on approving any more evening classes. I don't expect he will - all the more motivation to be a "student first." Why they make a man with such a chip on his shoulder the dean of the school of business I'll never know.

I just feel so beat down. Another year. I feel like dropping out. "University" is the sorry, glorified title of an unorganized excuse for a school.

Geoff said I should try a different counselor. He's been to the one I always see and he didn't like her. So, I've made an appointment with someone else for Monday... maybe they can help me. Or it might be too late. We'll have to see.

Geoff is a sweetheart to me. And I told my friend Ang about it too and she brought me a present - a bag of m&m's and a keychain pinball game. For when I'm in class wasting my life away, might as well be doing something fun, ha ha.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Frat is Phat?

So I asked my professor and he strongly encouraged me (or should I say "us", because Geoff got an invitation too) to accept the invitation. He said it's given to the top 10% of seniors and top 7% of juniors, and that it's good on a resume and people will recognize it. So... even though I haven't got any hot plans to seek other employment, and even though my motivation to continue my education beyond what's absolutely necessary has been shot to hell, why not accept huh? :) (Okay, so maybe there is still a faint glimmer of hope for grad school... very, very faint).

We each get to invite two guests to the ceremony - I think there's a dinner or something; we'll probably invite my parents.

I ate a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheat crumbs for lunch. Yummm!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


Okay, so I've been getting this invitation to join some group called "Golden Key" for the past couple years, it's some kind of honors thing related to education. Except they want money. It seems a little counterintuitive to pay a big fee to join a group that supposedly wants you so bad. So every time I get it I just throw it away. Today I got an email from someone at UVU inviting me to join the "Honors Society of Phi Kappa Phi." Honestly, I'm quite dumb about these things, I've never even heard of this group before. And they want money too. But I wonder if this one is a little more legit since there's an actual person at my school who is tied to the organization, and they're having an induction ceremony at the end of the month. I think I'll ask one of my professors what it is and if it's worth it to join. (And maybe they missed my 'C' grade from last semester! What if I get C's again!)

Monday, March 2, 2009

Today: Monday = Sleepy Cali

So I didn't get to bed until after 1 a.m. and today I pretty much hated myself for staying up late. Came home for lunch and crashed on the couch and of course Geoff always has all the lights off and the blinds shut and it was so quiet and peaceful and soooo hard to wake up. ha ha.

This is crazy:Community Colleges Squeezed From Both sides. An education is one thing you figure will always be available to you should you ever need or want it. To think even the schools around here that are supposed to be open-enrollment are now turning applicants away. I need to stop complaining about school and be grateful. (It's easier said than done sometimes but that's no excuse!)

It is really tragic about those missing boaters in Florida. I'm glad they found the one guy but my heart goes out to the other two guys and their families.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

It's midnight

So it's midnight and I can't sleep. I guess that's what you get for sleeping past ten and then taking a three-hour nap, he he. I was just reading over my old journal from junior year of high school. I think it's so entertaining - you change so much it's like reading someone else's life, almost. (Is that vain of me that I think it's fun?) I was such a dork when it came to boys, I liked them so much - and there were a lot - but as I read I think, "nooo! don't do that!!" I wonder if I'll think the same thing as I read back over these posts someday.

Anyway, there was an entry I thought was interesting. It's nothing shpeshal (meaning funny), I just enjoyed it. I'd made a "journal jar" in young women's, and I think this was the only time I ever used it.
April 17, 2001 (Tuesday)
What are the things I love and admire about my father? Well he's definately a hard worker. He has enough initiative that nobody has to get on his tail to get things done. He knows his responsibilities and he takes "responsibility" for them. He loves Mom and makes sure that she is treated well. I've never really thought about this before, but now that I do, I realize he's an important part of helping me "grow up." He'll tell me how it works in the "real world," be as it may. He is not selfish at all. He puts everyone else before himself (without being walked-on, of course). I know he thinks maybe he is [selfish] for buying a motorcycle, but he deserves it. He is also very generous, particularly with money. Like when we are selling stuff, it always goes cheaper than it could. And he likes to buy stuff for people. He's really good at picking out stuff he knows they'll like. I like it when he's goofy. I like it when we're all just loose and having a good time. Those are some things I admire about my dad.

Am I involved in any clubs or extra-curricular activities? (sports, dance, choir, etc.)
Yes I am. Not a ton of things, but enough. The only club I'm in is FCCLA. I'm a member of the Spanish Fork City Youth Council (YCC). I'm in Utah Valley Children's Choir (UVCC), but after this summer's tour I'm quitting. Hopefully I'll make A Capella, but if not then I'll oust singing and go for piano. Everything else is church-oriented. Right now I'm the Laurel's President (and the stuff that includes) and in Laurel's Council. I'm also a YCL for camp this year. The leaders are having us do shadow-leadership this year. Ahhh! That's everything, I think. I'm still not tired though, here's a third:

What's my favorite movie?
Duh. Where the Heart Is. I also like Remember the Titans, but it didn't have much romance in it - unless you count the part where the one guy kisses the other guy, and I don't.

What is the weirdest dream I've ever had?
I usually record the dreams that make any impression. I do remember a dream I had when I was just a couple years old (maybe 5). I was sitting in the car, waiting for my family to come get in because we were about to go somewhere, when it started going all by itself. I remember the feeling - the adrenaline rush you get when it feels like there's someone standing right behind you - like maybe the car was being driven by someone I couldn't see... maybe... Anyways, the car drove far, far away - along the roads that go along the walls of some mountain or cliff, and I remember being just terrified that I would never see my family again and helpless to do anything about it. Scary for a little kid, huh?

I want to end on a happy note so here's the last for tonight: Read Moroni 8:25-26 and the information under the heading "Repentance" in the Bible Dictionary. Write what repentance means to you. The scripture was neat. The definition is really something. It makes me feel kind of like I'm missing out. Here I am discovering life and there's a huge experience that I have yet to experience. There are the spiritual experiences, (like camp, tour, some testimony meetings) that humble me and bring a "turning of the heart and will to God" and even a "fresh view about the God, about oneself, and about the world." And I guess maybe that could constitute a form of repentance, but no direct repentance, where you get down and go through that "list" of what's to happen. This will be neat when it happens, even if it's hard.

Interesting. (To me, if no one else.) How some things change so much and others don't. That's all I'll say about that.

Been thinking about that choir. I ended up quitting just a month later because I'd gotten in my second car wreck in two months. I thought it'd be a good idea to use the tour money on repairs and insurance. (Mom actually felt bad about that.) Mom & Dad's insurance would've been dropped altogether except their insurance agent was also our bishop and he gave them a break. And I joined again the following year, but you are officially "kicked-out" once you graduate.

Sometimes I miss singing so much. My co-worker Linda has told me about a chorale they have here in Utah County; maybe I'll consider it once I'm done with school.

There I've rambled enough for one night.

PS - What is shadow-leadership? I don't remember.

But what if we all become alcoholics - let's blame the law!

Has anyone else heard of this: http://www.sltrib.com/ci_11800501. Wow, now that is just a little bit embarrassing. If someone is really afraid that just being a witness to the pouring of drinks is going to break down their child's personal standards of not drinking and take away their ability to choose for themselves, then by gum, take them to one of the other thousands of restaurants that don't openly serve alcohol. There is no way that is ever going to pass, but seriously.

The woman quoted in the article speaks of family values. I admire family values. When I have my own family, I hope to be able to teach them values too. I want a strong family bond that fosters love and respect and responsibility. And hopefully, they can withstand seeing someone else make choices that are contrary to what they feel is right and still be a whole person. And I kind of think that means not constantly running to cover the kiddie's eyes for them.

I guess it's hard for me to speak though without the experience of having children myself. Who knows what kind of mother I'll be without seeing it. We might be faced with things we wouldn't have imagined, I really don't know. I am just thankful that I had parents who raised me the way they did. They gave me everything I could want or need, pointed me in a direction, and let me go. (I did scare them once or twice, but I am standing on my own two feet and am still alive.) I think Geoff's parents were much the same.