It's midnight

So it's midnight and I can't sleep. I guess that's what you get for sleeping past ten and then taking a three-hour nap, he he. I was just reading over my old journal from junior year of high school. I think it's so entertaining - you change so much it's like reading someone else's life, almost. (Is that vain of me that I think it's fun?) I was such a dork when it came to boys, I liked them so much - and there were a lot - but as I read I think, "nooo! don't do that!!" I wonder if I'll think the same thing as I read back over these posts someday.

Anyway, there was an entry I thought was interesting. It's nothing shpeshal (meaning funny), I just enjoyed it. I'd made a "journal jar" in young women's, and I think this was the only time I ever used it.
______________________________________
April 17, 2001 (Tuesday)
What are the things I love and admire about my father? Well he's definately a hard worker. He has enough initiative that nobody has to get on his tail to get things done. He knows his responsibilities and he takes "responsibility" for them. He loves Mom and makes sure that she is treated well. I've never really thought about this before, but now that I do, I realize he's an important part of helping me "grow up." He'll tell me how it works in the "real world," be as it may. He is not selfish at all. He puts everyone else before himself (without being walked-on, of course). I know he thinks maybe he is [selfish] for buying a motorcycle, but he deserves it. He is also very generous, particularly with money. Like when we are selling stuff, it always goes cheaper than it could. And he likes to buy stuff for people. He's really good at picking out stuff he knows they'll like. I like it when he's goofy. I like it when we're all just loose and having a good time. Those are some things I admire about my dad.

Am I involved in any clubs or extra-curricular activities? (sports, dance, choir, etc.)
Yes I am. Not a ton of things, but enough. The only club I'm in is FCCLA. I'm a member of the Spanish Fork City Youth Council (YCC). I'm in Utah Valley Children's Choir (UVCC), but after this summer's tour I'm quitting. Hopefully I'll make A Capella, but if not then I'll oust singing and go for piano. Everything else is church-oriented. Right now I'm the Laurel's President (and the stuff that includes) and in Laurel's Council. I'm also a YCL for camp this year. The leaders are having us do shadow-leadership this year. Ahhh! That's everything, I think. I'm still not tired though, here's a third:

What's my favorite movie?
Duh. Where the Heart Is. I also like Remember the Titans, but it didn't have much romance in it - unless you count the part where the one guy kisses the other guy, and I don't.

What is the weirdest dream I've ever had?
I usually record the dreams that make any impression. I do remember a dream I had when I was just a couple years old (maybe 5). I was sitting in the car, waiting for my family to come get in because we were about to go somewhere, when it started going all by itself. I remember the feeling - the adrenaline rush you get when it feels like there's someone standing right behind you - like maybe the car was being driven by someone I couldn't see... maybe... Anyways, the car drove far, far away - along the roads that go along the walls of some mountain or cliff, and I remember being just terrified that I would never see my family again and helpless to do anything about it. Scary for a little kid, huh?

I want to end on a happy note so here's the last for tonight: Read Moroni 8:25-26 and the information under the heading "Repentance" in the Bible Dictionary. Write what repentance means to you. The scripture was neat. The definition is really something. It makes me feel kind of like I'm missing out. Here I am discovering life and there's a huge experience that I have yet to experience. There are the spiritual experiences, (like camp, tour, some testimony meetings) that humble me and bring a "turning of the heart and will to God" and even a "fresh view about the God, about oneself, and about the world." And I guess maybe that could constitute a form of repentance, but no direct repentance, where you get down and go through that "list" of what's to happen. This will be neat when it happens, even if it's hard.
________________________________________

Interesting. (To me, if no one else.) How some things change so much and others don't. That's all I'll say about that.

Been thinking about that choir. I ended up quitting just a month later because I'd gotten in my second car wreck in two months. I thought it'd be a good idea to use the tour money on repairs and insurance. (Mom actually felt bad about that.) Mom & Dad's insurance would've been dropped altogether except their insurance agent was also our bishop and he gave them a break. And I joined again the following year, but you are officially "kicked-out" once you graduate.

Sometimes I miss singing so much. My co-worker Linda has told me about a chorale they have here in Utah County; maybe I'll consider it once I'm done with school.

There I've rambled enough for one night.

PS - What is shadow-leadership? I don't remember.